


Freely, Fully, Without Reservation

by Hiss



Category: The Wilds (TV 2020)
Genre: 1x10 end scene, F/F, Fluff, kiss, many emotions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-16
Updated: 2020-12-18
Packaged: 2021-03-10 20:13:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,198
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28112961
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hiss/pseuds/Hiss
Summary: Shelby and Toni’s thoughts and feelings during the scene near the end of episode 10.“What if I hurt you?”“I don’t think I’ve got it in me to be scared about something that could be good.”
Relationships: Shelby Goodkind/Toni Shalifoe
Comments: 14
Kudos: 227





	1. Shelby

“It’s ‘cause I trust you”

It should be overwhelming, these conflicting feelings racing through her, urging her to contest it further. To fight her. She wasn’t the nice girl everyone saw her as. And Toni wasn’t just “the angry one.” She was funny, kind. Supportive. Strong. Shelby had never felt as sure as she did now. Still, there was fear.

The doubt wouldn’t leave right away. It would slip little by little, until her heart was entirely in Toni’s hands. Because she was starting to trust her too. This girl who had shoved her into a fall, who had shunned her, and for good reason. This island wasn’t changing them, not really. It was releasing them. Their hearts and their inhibitions, free. 

When Shelby alluded to her past, the tragedy of her own actions, it made her hands shake. Toni didn’t even ask to know. She didn’t need to know. Shelby had the thought, just for a second, that it was because Toni saw this as only short-term. Then she was reminded of trust, and the disaster that had led them to this. They had been through so much together in... how many days? It didn’t really matter. 

A dark feeling rose up in her throat. Back home, she would know exactly what time it was at all times. Always prepared, excuses at the tip of her tongue. Sweet words and sweet, fake smiles. Shelby smiled now, except this was different. Genuine. 

No expectations, only a warm desire that reeled her in deeper with each word, smile or simple movement. Not that those movements from the night before could ever be categorized as simple. She reached out a hand to Toni’s cheek and then let it fall, giving into the urge to lean forward and escape into that face she found herself staring at more and more often every day. 

Lips coming together, not so desperate like their first kiss, but calm. Steady and smooth. Someone so beautiful was surely sent from the heavens. A beautiful wreck of emotions concentrated into one person, who she was somehow able to make calm. 

Toni’s hand touched her chin, sliding up to her cheek, tantalizing and warm and everything she ever needed. The feeling was fire to her mind. It silenced her worries immediately, though she wasn’t completely naive. These fears, her past, wouldn’t be pushed aside forever. 

When she needed to face them, they would be there, and so would Toni. Right by her side, falling together into the darkness. It’s not like they’d never done that. Falling into the sea, no idea of what would come next or what they would find.

A strange confidence gripped her chest, her heartbeat slowing as she relaxed into Toni’s hand. Soft lips, warm, slowly parting to capture her bottom lip between hers. She had stability before, at home. An oppressing stability that crushed her until she exploded. She had passion, when she first kissed Toni in the woods. And now she had this.

Something she could never let herself lose.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love this show and them so damn much. Feel free to leave any thoughts or constructive criticism below.


	2. Toni

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Toni’s perspective of the same scene

This was different. She leaned back and gazed out at the sky, her hands firmly on the grassy ground beneath her. A light breeze settled on her skin with the sun like a blessing. Toni almost laughed at the thought, something Shelby would probably say. She had spent countless hours wondering about Shelby’s religion, getting worked up over it and what terrible, cruel thoughts her parents had likely instilled into her. 

Shelby needed something that wasn’t hard, that let her in and didn’t question. Something, or someone, that would return her faith with no pressure to be an unattainable “better”. Unlike before, Toni didn’t have anything in front of her to fight. She didn’t want to fight. Not when someone so beautiful and wild and passionate had opened her arms to her. She just wanted to give in to the pull.

Martha was right. Sometimes she didn’t know when to let something go, when to walk away. That night, when Shelby said she was sure, Toni knew she meant it. And she showed her, with hands and lips and soft caresses that seared her skin, words whispered into her neck like promises. How could she walk away from this? No matter the consequences or whatever happened after this hell of a situation, she would know she didn’t regret committing to this. 

“Hey.”

Toni turned her head and returned the greeting, not being able to resist the chance to see her. Shelby clearly sounded nervous about something. Instead of being rattled, Toni felt happy. Shelby had come to her to talk. After that entire day of avoidance earlier, it felt like a victory. An improvement anyway, one of many to come. 

She looked out into the distance again, arms around her knees, the comforting feeling of Shelby beside her. Toni couldn’t help smiling when Shelby asked if this didn’t matter to her, if that’s why she wasn’t being her normal self. It was the exact opposite. It mattered so much that Toni was calm from her trust in her. 

The way they’d fit together so well last night and fell asleep together, the grounding feeling of knowing how right and good it was. It brought the ocean to her fire. Gave her not only hope, but certainty. In such a terrible situation, it was amazing and fucking lucky that they had found each other like this and turned their hatred into... something else. 

Shelby had obviously been through a lot of shit. She wasn’t about to ask about it, there was time for that later. Toni felt strangely hopeful about their future for two girls stuck on a deserted island. If you go out, why not go out swinging? 

“The worst has already fucking happened,” Toni said.

“I don’t think I’ve got it in me to get that scared about something that could be good.” 

Shelby’s touches might as well be a damn drug, and she kept doing that thing lately. Making Toni feel like she was right to trust her. First her ponytail, then her cheek, then her shoulder. She could make a map of all the places Shelby held her. Those soft lips were so mesmerizing that it was pretty hard to think, but she had to remember how good this all felt. Something this beautiful could end. She knew better than anyone how her personality could get the best of her. 

But this was different. Shelby was fiery too, and they could take on the world together if they tried. They already were, by trying to survive in this fucking place. They balanced each other out perfectly and Toni never wanted to lose this feeling. 

Effortless devotion and trust, burning her up but calming her down all at once. Her hand rose to Shelby’s cheek by instinct, like it belonged there. The warmth of the sun and this moment would leave her glowing for days. Then again, every kiss would have the same effect, erasing her fear and making her see stars in the same instant. 

This, whatever this was, was something she would fight for. Something—her heart, her gut, told her that Shelby would be there fighting too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey all! Let me know what you think of this :)


End file.
